


April Fool's Day

by throwntotheair (eloquentelegance)



Series: the friends theme song [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Gotham Academy (Comics)
Genre: Gen, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloquentelegance/pseuds/throwntotheair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian assembles his own team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	April Fool's Day

from [here](http://buttfuck9000.tumblr.com/post/140457520552/lolfactory-thug-life-funny-pictures-via)

“Damian,” Bruce sighs, not knowing where to begin.  


“What?” Damian says, innocently. “You told me to assemble a team.”  


“I did. But,” Bruce waves an arm, “this isn’t what I had in mind.”  


“What’s wrong with them?”  


“... They’re farm animals, Damian.”  


A veritable barn house has been assembled in the cave. All of the animals are wearing well-fitted masks. Damian stands next to - Bruce believes that is a goat. He sincerely hopes it won’t poop anytime soon.

“ _Former_  farm animals, Father. Now, they’re my team!”  


“Surely you must be joking.”

“They’re highly skilled and very capable, I assure you!”  


Bruce pinches his brow. “Damian, son. Have you ingested anything strange? Maybe an encounter with Poison Ivy?”

Damian simply smirks, resting a hand on the soft coat of a so-called teammate. “This is Lenore. She’s our Tactical Operations.”

“That is a llama.”  


“An incredibly intelligent llama! Here, look! Lenore, what’s two plus two?”  


The llama taps its front hoof four times. Damian beams and Bruce breathes in deep. He clasps his hands together, bringing both before his jaw. 

“Damian...” Bruce really had no clue what to say. How does one speak to a son who is having some sort of mental breakdown? Before he can think of the appropriate words, Bruce hears loud giggling.  


His son briefly closes his eyes, looking slightly constipated. He’s trying not to laugh, Bruce realizes. 

“Mizoguchi...” Damian hisses through grit teeth. “You were supposed to stay quiet!”  


“There was an attempt!” A cheerful voice replies. A girl drops down from some dark corner. There are many dark corners in the cave. But it remains impressive that she was able to hide from him. 

Bruce recognizes her. She’s Mia Mizoguchi, Maps to her friends. She’s an acquaintance of his son’s, from his brief stint in Gotham Academy.

Miss Mizoguchi pops up to her feet, grinning brightly at him. “Hi! I made the masks!”  


Damian rolls his eyes. “She did make the masks.”

Bruce looks between them both, smiling albeit unsure. “Damian, what... Haven’t I told you not to bring civilians into the Cave?”

“Sir Dadman, with all due respect, your son couldn’t keep me out if he tried,” Miss Mizoguchi replies.  


Bruce catches Damian’s eye. His son shrugs in a rare helpless gesture. He doesn’t seem all too sore about not being in control. A vast improvement, Bruce thinks, from his usual reactions. 

“What’s this all about then?” Bruce asks.  


“Have you checked the date today?” Miss Mizoguchi chirps, her smile turning mischievous.  


“I would like to say, that this was _entirely_  her idea,” Damian says. “And also, I believe this is what you call... April Fool’s, Father?”  


Bruce heaves a deep breath. On the plus side, his son isn’t poisoned or having a mental breakdown. On the other hand...

“Please return these animals to their home. You did get permission to borrow them, didn’t you?”  


Damian and Miss Mizoguchi share looks. Then, Damian turns to him, quirking his lips up.

“... Of a sort...”  


“Damian!”  



End file.
